In Your Face...

For those of you who know how passionate I am about mountain-top removal and how opinionated I am about the oxymoron "clean coal," you'll be pleased to know I had ten seconds to speak my piece on the Ed Shultz show on Friday. If you don't know who Ed Shultz is and you're politically progressive, you'd probably really enjoy his radio show. In Asheville it's 880 am, and it's on every day from noon - 2:00pm. He's also a bit of a regular on CNN as a lefty guest. We found Ed last year and we've been faithful listeners. I don't always agree with him (take "clean coal" for example), but most of the time I dig his show. On Friday, he had two guests on talking about "clean coal," one was a coal industry guy and the other was from Center for American Progress. What gets me about the conversation is that no one ever talks about extraction, it's all about whether we can make coal cleaner in the burning process, but what about those mountains that have been razed to get at the coal? So I called in, and got to speak for about 30 seconds about mountain top removal. The "clean coal" advocate said he lived in KY and that it's not called mountain top removal but mountain top mining. Furthermore, he said, only 3% of coal is extracted in that fashion. I said: those people whose mountains are gone and whose communities flood every year probably don't care what the percentage is. He said, well we've actually been able to bring in lots of industry to put on the flat land (where the mountains used to be) so it's good for the community. Wow. Blowing up God's mountains to get at dirty coal, then slapping some industry on top to make it all good? Anyhow, it felt great to be able to add mountain top removal into the conversation. Thank you, Big Eddie, for taking my call...I know he's probably a secret fan of this blog.

Myles had a blast on Sunday at his friend Rye's birthday party, and we did too! Rye lives across the street from Myles' godparents, our friends Colleen and Tom, and they were at the party too with their girls. Myles got to play with Rye's trains and trucks and munch on the "cake" which was a huge rice crispy treat in the shape of a bear with frosting decor. Not much else going on since the last blog. On Friday we're headed for Sugar Mountain with a group of friends for a ski weekend. Me, I'll be in with the young'uns warming my sweet self by the fire. Forget skiing! But it will be fun to just chill with friends and let the kids entertain themselves. The flu is going around and Myles hasn't had it yet, so please please please I'm praying he won't get it and divert our plans.

Planting; Mylestones

It was a tough one this week. Myles continued through the weekend to struggle without his pacifier, which led to sleepless nights and days without enough work getting done, since he wasn't napping well or at all. This also led to prolonged fits after nap time, one which had both of us in tears because it went on so long. Finally, on Tuesday, I thought, "this is crazy!" My son is two and I've just taken away his primary coping mechanism...so I asked for some advice from some other mamas. My sister voted, "re-pacify!" and Donna sent me an excerpt from Dr. Sears' book and from a web source that both said it wouldn't hurt a two year old psychologically or dentally to keep on keepin on with the paci, especially if it's only during sleep time. I called a local pediatric dentist who said the same thing. So, on Tuesday night we went out and bought another pacifier (this was day eleven!!), and life's been good ever since in the sleep and behavioral departments. We're only using it at sleeping time, or if a major tantrum takes place, and we hope that when the time is right for the next step, we all will know. I tell you what, parenting is an exercise in humility. Sometimes you just don't get it right. My respect for my parents' parenting increases by the day...

Back to the tough week. Seth's department at the city also had some lay-offs this week. Two really stand-up employees were told that they will be laid off come June, one has worked closely with Seth for years and is deeply respected by those who work with him. There are eight more positions that are slated to be reduced to four jobs. Each of the eight employees will be notified that they can compete for the four remaining jobs. We are pretty sure that Seth is not one of these. It seems he's made it through the first round of lay-offs, but morale is very low and our view of the economic downturn is much different than it was even a month ago. If Seth did lose his job, for example, we would only sell our house at a big loss, since the housing market is down and we have new houses selling in our neighborhood for much lower than what ours cost. It's easy to feel panicked. Of course the worst thing about a job loss at this point would be forfeiting our dream of the new church start. So, we are incredibly grateful that Seth still has his job (and it looks like he will keep it for the time being). Still, we really feel for those who have lost their jobs and when lay-offs start you never quite look at your employer the same way.

Mylestones: In the midst of it all, Myles is growing and changing and doing new things. This week he counted to eight by himself (he still can't say "seven" so he skipped over that one). He's singing his ABC's with us, sometimes right on the money and sometimes just making it up as he goes (he knows the rhythm, and that's enough for him). He's also started "reading" to himself. He picks up a book and turns the pages and says some key words in a very animated way. I think this is a huge change, it's like he understands that a book is a story of something that happens and it unfolds with the pages. He's also increasingly excited about things that "pop!" like the toaster. Sometimes he will run and get a rag and pretend to clean up a spill or wipe his mouth, and if there's a real spill and we ask he will help clean it up. He loves to help do the dishes, water the plants, empty the dishwasher, feed Juniper, and pound the soles of his shoes together to get the mud out. In general, if you ask for his help with something he's excited to give it his best. He is refusing to eat veggies lately, and that's hard for the vegetarian mama. Hopefully as he gets older he will get better, but it's really frustrating to fix a nice meal for him and have it refused outright.

Planting: As the photos suggest, we got some seeds in the ground today. Freckled lettuce, spinach, and gourmet salad greens. Our friend Cindy, gardener extraordinaire and quite possibly the Asheville incarnation of Barbara Kingsolver, suggested the hay bales topped with old windows as a way to plant greens early and keep out the pesky frost when it comes poking around. Last year we had a really late start to planting because of my work crisis, so it's good to plant early this year and we have high hopes of eating our own salad greens soon. After the week we've had, planting some seeds in the ground is a good ritual of hope.

In Gratitude for Love

"I hold this to be the highest task of a bond between two people: that each should stand guard over the solitude of the other...For one human being to love another: that is perhaps the most difficult of all our tasks, the ultimate, the last test and proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation." --Rainer Maria Rilke, read at our wedding

"I love you when you are silly. I love you when you are sad. I love you when I am away. I love you when we are cuddled up close. I love you when you sleep. I love you when you don't sleep. I love you when we dance. I love you when we stroll. I love you when you are sick. I love you when you feel better. I love you when you are stinky. I love you when you are squeaky clean. Most of all, I love you just the way you are." from the I Love You Book by Todd Parr, a Christmas gift to Myles from us

"To live in the world you must be able to do three things: to love what is mortal; to hold it against your bones knowing your own life depends on it; and, when the time comes to let it go, to let it go." --Mary Oliver, inscribed on the locket I won just before my birthday last year

'nuf said. Happy Valentines Day! Now go out and celebrate every kind of love you have in your life...

P.S. I saw the first crocuses and daffodils of the year this week...

De-Pacified Household...

A quick post to let you know: we did it! On Friday night we went out for dinner and the server offered Myles a balloon. I thought, it's a sign! So on Saturday, I explained to Myles that he was such a biggie boy that he didn't need paci any more and we were going to say bye-bye to paci. I tied paci to the balloon, let go, and plunk! Turns out the paci was too heavy for the balloon. Plan B. I cut the tip of the paci and we gave it to Myles before bed. The strangest look came over his face and he said, "Stuck!" which was his way of saying the paci was broken. We said, well, you're so big now you don't need paci anymore. And we left it at that.

Night one: we heard some whimpering, but in general all went well.

Sunday nap: Refused.

Night two: Woke up to lots of crying around 1:00am, went back to sleep eventually.

Monday nap: After alternately chattering and whimpering, he fell into a deep sleep. I wont' tell you how long the chattering and whimpering went on.

Night three: Not bad. Some initial crying, but he seemed to sleep through the night.

Tuesday nap: Refused.

Some of you may know that my ability to make a living and create a new church start all at once relies heavily on my son's napping schedule. So. I'm feeling a little panicky at the moment, but this too shall pass. Or so they say.

Other Mylestones: Every day it's a new word. Today: heart, cow, and zoo. He's rediscovered his Kindermusik cds and is regularly interrupting NPR to beg for the same song over and over. He enjoyed getting real mail from his cousin in his wooden mailbox, and it included Nascar stickers that we promptly stuck on his bedroom window as well as candy hearts and a magnet. It's evident that Myles tries to tell and re-tell stories...some about cars and trucks doing things, some about boo-boos, and some about the books he reads. We can only make out a few words here and there, but there's passion in his storytelling, believe you me. He loves to sing Wheels on the bus, ABC's and Old MacDonald. While he can pronounce few of the words, he tries to get the tune right and throws in the occasional word for flare. He recognizes the city building and when we pull in to pick up Seth he shouts, "Papi!!"

Hot Cocoa and Negative Eleven...Oh February.

Another snow day. Ho hum. My inner Michigander is once again doing battle with my wanna-be Southerner. While the town has shut down around us for the last two days, I've stubbornly refused to let the snow cramp my style. After all, I can still see the grass tops poking through the snow. Really folks, it's not that bad. But when I went for a morning run today in negative eleven degrees, I was humbled by that black ice. Slow, slow run. Better than nothing? This weekend promises warmer weather, possibly in the 60s...bring it on!

The cold weather prompted me to offer Myles his first taste of hot cocoa. Not only did he dig it, he requested a cereal bar, which he promptly dunked, then submerged completely in his delightful drink. This boy knows the meaning of pleasure. Other pleasure-filled delights: peering at your reflection in the metal circle on the tub wall, laughing until you puke when papi makes a funny face, bringing large cooking pots into the tub, helping mama pull the dead plants out of the garden, getting a kleenex out of the box and gently dabbing your nose, tossing peas into whatever you're drinking at dinner. Ah, life's little pleasures...just what February demands.

So here's the best news of all: my sister, brother in law, and two nephews are likely moving to the Abingdon/Marion (VA) region!! Roughly two hours from us and less than three from my mom, it's hardly believable. I've already conjured a weekend in which Myles and I hang back with Brenna and Finn while Seth and Brian take Kaleb camping. I don't know much about Abingdon and Marion (soon to find out more!), but I know enough to know that they are good Appalachian small towns that invite visits, with proximity to the Appalachian Trail, quality theater, a thriving arts and crafts community, and kickin farmers markets. In fact, Barbara Kingsolver (of the blessed Animal Vegetable Miracle) and her husband own a general store and restaurant not far from Abingdon, and the menu is mouthwatering! Always in season, local foods served. We are thrilled that Brenna and Brian might move...the prospect of Myles growing up close to Kaleb and Finn is so fun to ponder, we just hope that everything lines up to make it all possible. Good work, Brian, on that interview!!

Today Myles had his two year wellness check up. We're happy to be following his doctor since birth, Meredith (friend, doctor, and world traveler!), over to Ravenscroft as our new care provider, so it was our last day at Mahec. After the last visit in May, I insisted Seth come along to help with the shot. It was much much easier with papi in the mix! Myles weighs 30lbs, which is about 80-85%, and his height puts him in the 93%. Is it time to get him to the dentist? The doctor seemed to think we should get that started. If you have a child of similar age and any thoughts about when to do the dentist thing, do weigh in...

The paci: I know you all have been waiting on pins and needles to know the outcome of a de-pacified Hendler-Voss household. You'll be very disappointed to learn that Myles is even now upstairs asleep sucking thankfully on ole paci. We just don't want a sleepless week, you know? Ugg, no excuses. We gotta get rid of it soon. I heard a great story about a girl who had a goodbye paci party, in which paci got tied to a helium balloon and everyone shouted "goodbye!" as it floated out of view. She later discovered that the paci fairy had left a stuffed animal for her under a tree with a note saying that when she missed paci, she should hug the stuffed animal. Word on the street is that this paci party worked like a charm. Party, anyone?

Bewildered

Last week, in the flash of an eye, Myles went from wearing his sweatshirt properly to this more artistic look. Not sure how it happened. That sentiment recurs a lot these days. Like last night, when Myles slipped from the big boy chair where he's been insisting on eating (his friend Sagan was over and sitting in Myles' high chair which Myles was more than happy to share) and crashed onto the floor. Or today when he managed to dump dried basil all over the floor. Sure did look pretty lying there all bright green on the kitchen floor. It must have been fun to dash it about like that.

Words of the week: "Tight." As in, this crazy southern winter weather, one day I'm in my spring jacket and the next day they stuff me into this puffy winter jacket and my seat belt's too tight.
"Ice." Sagan said it, so Myles repeated it. "Neck." As in, put that vics vapor rub on my neck. And, my personal favorite, "Amen!" Already he loves his mama's prayers. How blessed am I?

Speaking of blessings, my mom and I were talking on the phone the other night and she was telling me about this book she's reading that prescribes fifteen minutes of praising God each morning for a week. Notice how it changes things. Gratitude does change things. And maybe if I try each morning to name to God those things that I'm grateful for, and give thanks for God's mysterious, beautiful ways, maybe it will change things. It's worth a try. Not because my life is bad or sad or unmanageable, but just because I want to live with an undercurrent of joy and gratitude shaping the way I see things.

At the church service I attended last night, these words were on the cover of the bulletin:

Bewildered:

To be led astray, to become lost in pathless places, to be confounded for want of a plain road. To return to a wild place, become feral, uncultivated, undomesticated. To enter a desert. Not controlled by an outside force. Bewilderment is not momentary confusion or uncertainty. It is to become fundamentally displaced. Trauma may bring it on--illness or the death of a parent, companion, or child. Prolonged spiritual practice may bring it on. Accumulated, unattended sorrow may bring it on. In many religious mystical traditions, bewilderment is seen as a stage of spiritual development. --Rose Marie Berger

The scripture for the service affirmed that the wilderness, however, is where God's voice is heard.

Bewildering is a good word to describe the process of starting a new church. There are so many details, so many possibilities, so many intricacies, each one dependent on the outcome of the other.

Well, I'd reflect more, but I'm being summoned to a bath time. You get my drift. Blessings on your week, may it be full of creative clothing expression, the dashing of basil, and "Amen!"