White Christmas

It felt like an epic journey, through the mountains, under steely gray skies, into the wintry mix of Michigan. We made it safely to Detroit on Monday, and watched it snow all day Tuesday. Seth and I both ventured out for morning runs on Tuesday, an exercise in absurdity as we slipped and slid and jogged at a pace so slow we probably could have walked faster. But it was still a work out, and it did feel good to be out in a cold unlike what we experience most of the time in NC. We weren't sure if we would make it to Hemlock on Christmas Eve for Christmas with my mom's side of the family. Turned out the roads were okay, although some of the snow banks in Hemlock towered over our car. (By okay, I mean they were drivable by Michigan standards...had they been that slick on the mountain roads in NC, folks would have locked themselves indoors.)

I think I mentioned in the Thanksgiving post that my family rents a church hall for Thanksgiving and Christmas celebrations. We're too big to all fit in my grandparents' (pictured above) farm house that my mom grew up in, and the hall works very well for our potluck meal and the crop of great grandkids running wild. This year, my cousin's wife managed to get us started on a new family tradition, a white elephant Christmas exchange, only with gifts someone might actually want. It was much more interactive than the old days of everyone opening their gifts at once in a mad flurry of wrapping paper and exclamations. Thank you, Deja! Myles had a fabulous time and because he ate well (more meatballs than I care to count) he got to have that piece of pumpkin pie he's been coveting since Thanksgiving. My nephew Cullen ate more green-frosted Christmas cookies than you could fit on a plate, and ran around with a green mouth and contented smile.

That afternoon we piled back into the car with my mom and headed west to my dad's mom's house. Again, we were nervous about the weather, and it was bad but driveable. It was a packed house with my Aunt Barb living there temporarily as she sells her house and looks for a new one, but my grandma always makes us feel so welcome and loved. On Christmas, my cousin's family came over (see Myles enjoying Kameron's new ipod above). There were some tears, which was a good thing. I needed some tears this Christmas, and my grandma always helps in that department! My mom gave her the gift of my dad's caring bridge book, and it is quite a volume with so many incredible guest entries and some beautiful pictures.

On Friday we headed back to Detroit for one more night, then we set sail for Knoxville on Saturday, though I have to admit I was totally disgusted and dismayed by the news of the coal ash spill in Kingston, less than an hour from my mom's house. (Here's my editorial: Clean coal? Are they crazy? First they blow up mountains to get the coal, then dump the slag waste into miles of streams and rivers, then they store the sludge in leaky conatiners, and now the ash that they prevent from going into the air, to make it "clean coal," spills a billion gallons all over people's homes, farm lands, and they are still saying it's safe to drink the water...folks, there's no such thing as clean coal.)

On Sunday, we returned home. Ah, home. We picked up Juniper from the pet vet, where she received the comment "does not play well with others" on her report. We've left her there way too much in the last six months. Our season of heavy traveling is coming to a close, and we hope to spend a lot more time in Asheville in the coming year.

This morning, Santa came. Myles doesn't really get Santa, but he sure did get it that someone brought him a new "bike" (actually it's a Radio Flyer trike with a parental steering tool on the back). All I heard all day was "bike," and we got out twice into the good weather to make use of it. We learned the hard way that it's absoulte foolishness to not pre-assemble the kid's toys...lesson learned.

Christmas was much better for me than Thanksgiving. I guess it was a busy trip, and though I did have time for thought and reflection, it really felt this year like I just needed to get through it. And we did. I miss my dad. We all missed him this year. Some of us are better able to express that loneliness with tears or words, but we all felt it, this huge hole where his spirit would have been, an aching gap that's impossible to fill. My sister's birthday was yesterday and my mom's is new year's day, and those are difficult days to mark without my dad. Seth and I were able to visit his grave on our way out of Knoxville, but I don't feel his presence there either. It's a place for me to go, but he's not there.

There was one moment when I was driving back through the mountains into Knoxville and the sun was setting that I felt my sorrow turn ever so slightly into gratitude. I miss my dad so much because he was such an incredible father and person. I have many moments and memories to be thankful for, the depth of sorrow is the inverse of the joy that I had in all those years he was alive...a strange equation to be sure.

There are a thousand noteworthy things that Myles has done in the last few weeks that I've meant to record in this blog, and it seems they always slip away when I try to sum up our weeks. He's saying all kinds of words. We got to peek at our next door neighbor's great grand-daughter (8 days old) on Sunday and when we left the house, Myles said "Baby cry." He looked so big compared to her 7 lb frame. Tonight after our dinner prayer, he said "more!" It doesn't get any better than that. Well, that's it for tonight. Thanks for tuning in...

Surviving Sin City

Late Monday night, I returned home unscathed from a whirlwind trip to Vegas. When I arrived in sin city on Saturday evening, it was to an airport filled with large screens of dancers and performers amidst a slew of slot machines filling every corner with flashing lights, bells, whistles, and the occasional gambler. A van wrapped in gaudy advertisements transported me to Bally's casino hotel, and I stumbled into a smoke-filled lobby armed to the teeth with, yes, more slot machines. Smoking in a hotel lobby? Really? When I finally made it to the hotel bed, (after using my hotel room key complete with an image of a half naked woman on it) there was a letter on the bed informing guests that the Las Vegas marathon would be happening the following morning at 6am (9am east coast time), and the strip would be shut down to traffic. Now Seth was really jealous of my trip. He had spoken longingly of the infamous Vegas buffets, and now there just happened to be a marathon going on as well...

So on Sunday I woke up, suited up in my running clothes, and folded in with the marathoners. What a great way to see the strip! In my five mile run (and five mile return walk), I concluded that Las Vegas is the gaudiest city I'm likely ever to see. Along the street, music is piped through loud speakers, and there are pools of unnaturally blue water hosting large pirate ships. There is no silence in this part of the city. The streets were littered with the previous evening's baseball card sized porn, spewed all over the streets, sticking to side walks even as they were diligently cleaned by crews of people and machines. On more than one occasion the thought crossed my mind, this city's really not for me. Still, there were fascinating sights to see. Like two Elvis look-alikes running a half marathon, and the three young people (who looked like they could have been rounded up at Greenlife) hoisting large felt signs with slogans like "You're going to hell! Jesus saves."

For the next day and a half I attended a fabulous training with women state legislators from all over the country (one of whom was younger than me). I do love my work! When I arrived home close to midnight on Monday evening, I couldn't resist creeping into Myles' room to pick him up and hug him in his sleep.

Last week was filled up with preparation for a core group meeting we hosted on Thursday night for the new church start, and my trip to Atlanta on Friday and Saturday. What a whirlwind! My inbox is overflowing and I haven't been able to weed through all my emails, so if you sent me something and I haven't responded, I apologize. Will update the blog again soon, so stay tuned! It's good to be home in cool, green Asheville...

Vegas, Baby.

Well, I've been avoiding the blog. Thanksgiving was a hard holiday for me this year. I thought I would feel better surrounded by family. But I didn't. I think no matter where I was or who I was with, it would have been a hard day for me, and that's just the way things are this year. It was a treat, though, to be with all the little ones. I have twelve cousins on my mom's side (plus six cousin-spouses), and of their kids, nine of them were at "the hall" for Thanksgiving this year, all under the age of 7. My Aunt Tina was wise enough to throw some bouncy balls in the mix, and the day was an absolute hit for Myles! Because my mom's side of the family is so large, we now celebrate Thanksgiving and Christmas at a church hall. Turns out, it's a great space for the kids. Here is Myles pictured with Alexis and Haley.

Mylestones: So much seems to be happening so quickly with Myles. His mind is really growing and sponge-like these days. The other day, he came out of my office with a work document that includes a photo of me and several other women. It was taken when my hair was very short. He was pointing at the photo saying, "Mama, mama!" Recently, he's wanted to sleep with a special item most nights, last night it was tupperware, and the night before it was a jeep that is heavy and hard, not exactly something I'd snuggle up with. He is trying to talk more and more. Sometimes it's clear he's really trying to say something and I feel awful when I have no idea what he's saying. He enjoys listening to "Old MacDonald Had a Farm" and chimes in on the e-i-e-i-o, then claps and says "yay!" at the end. We just started the advent calendar and already he's fascinated with it and with the Christmas ornaments that are ready to be put on a tree if we can just figure out what an eco-conscious family is supposed to do about the whole Christmas tree quandry. I think we will be borrowing a fake tree from our friends who went real this year. It's our first Christmas tree, so makes sense to ease into the whole thing. And finally, we know Myles has really progressed because he thinks it's hilarious to "toot" as we call it, and will expend untold amounts of energy trying to force out a toot so he can laugh. Ah, he is his father's child.

Tomorrow promises to be a full day. We will have our Saturday waffles, then head to the church we've been attending on and off to participate in their good Samaritan program. We are putting together baskets for ten local families, all of them families affected by the immigration raid on a manufacturing plant just outside of Asheville. After the baskets are assembled, they will be dropped off anonymously at the homes of the families, and then everyone will gather back for lunch. We are skipping out early to get Myles' photo taken at 11:30. And then I'm flying to Vegas for a few days of training for work. I'm not much of a Vegas girl. I think I would have a panic attack if I ever gambled with my own money, and I can't think of an environment that's further removed from God's green Earth than a casino...but I will be with some smart, fun women, so I'm looking forward to the experience.

Last Monday, Seth spoke at Appalachian State's conference, "The Power of Design," about the chapter that we co-wrote for a book that just came out entitled Expanding Architecture. Our chapter is about asset-based community design (we taught a class on this concept for the Summer Studio in 2005 and 2006). Although I was not able to hear him speak, word on the street is that he was his brilliant, engaging self. He was gifted with a beautifully crafted coffee mug with a quote from none other than Myles Horton. While we were up in snowy Boone, I also had the chance to meet with the pastor of a new UCC church there. She was very encouraging as I move forward with the new church start, and I think she will continue to be a wise advisor to me in the process.

Finally, a shout out to Sara Z who had the remarkable intuition to know that the one thing that would make this trying holiday season a little better was chocolate truffles. They arrived safely on my doorstep this morning, and are presently half gone...thank you, God, for wonderful friends!