Strummin' for the Peeps, Playdough Super Heroes, and More...

I have several really beautiful photos of Myles that I'm dying to share...but I don't know how to load pics from my camera to my lap top and our desk top is dying a slow death. Seth promises he will show me how to do it, so I promise new photos soon! In the meantime, this fall sunset's not too bad...I didn't take it, but I do love it. Our October weather has been flawless (except that the lack of rain has us back in a drought)...yesterday we ate lunch outside and I was wearing a tank top. Every day is sunny and warm, with cool breezes and a little chill at night that makes our quilt all the warmer. I love the mountains in October. After church today we went to the Eliada Homes corn maze, and Myles rode in an old wagon pulled by some beautiful Clydesdale horses, played in a "corn" box (a sand box filled with dried corn), and rode behind a tractor. Good times. Seth brought me a mysterious wrapped up treat that looked like a homemade doughnut and said, "eat it." And lo and behold, I had my first fried Oreo cookie. What would my life be like without Seth?

Mylestones: Is it possible that my child grew smarter and sweeter this week? It happens so fast. His cheeks are diminishing, that's the only thing I hate about growing closer to four. But he is keeping us laughing, becoming more independent all the time, and offering regular lectures about life according to Myles (this includes subjects as varied as whose turn it is to drive the car to what he would like to do with the day). He regularly exercises his new found authority with Juniper by closing her in rooms (or out of them) and then "checking on her" by asking if she knows why she's being shut in/out. A lecture on proper dog behavior ensues. Who is this kid? He picks out his clothes every day, transitioned into a "big boy" car seat, and is helpful around the house when he feels like it...

Myles Says: Here are two conversations from today...you can see how amusing life with Myles is on a daily basis.

Myles: "My guitar shirt has reminded me that I want to play guitar." (Goes and gets guitar). "Can I bring my guitar to Target? Because I need to play it for the people."
Me: "Why do you need to play it for the people?"
Myles: "When they pick up trash and throw it in the garbage can, I'll play for them so they feel good."

On the way home from target we passed Tod's, a local restaurant a few blocks from our house, and saw a man sitting outside alone. Myles said, "I guess that man will sit all alone in the dark at Tod's." He reminds me so much of Seth when he says these kinds of things...he notices people and cares about how they are. He said this statement in a sad sorta way, like he felt bad for that guy being all alone at night.

At Target we got him a play dough set that includes a super hero mold, and so he began to make superheroes of varying colors. When he realized they didn't stand up by themselves he said, "Well, I'll just lay them down so they can rest so they can get strong enough to stand."

Well, that's all for now....will get some new pics up soon! And if you haven't voted, GO VOTE! Take advantage of early voting, it's so easy and convenient.

October Heart

Hot cranberry muffins are on the stove top, Myles is washing dishes, and Seth is (hopefully) in the process of acing his midterm exam. I meant to write last week in honor of my dad on the second anniversary of his death, October 7th. But then there was work, and the house to clean before the arrival of my in-laws, and a weekend party to prepare for, and a sermon to write. Yesterday I took the dog to the vet because she peed on the floor and seemed to have some kind of infection, and we came home with the news that she needs another expensive surgery (we still haven't followed through with the first one). Her health care costs are more expensive than anyone else in the family, by a long shot. What's wrong with this picture?

Back to my dad. The anniversary of his death, like the anniversary of his birth, reminds me to pause and talk to Myles about my dad. The thing that really sucks about losing my dad so young is that Myles will not have him around, and he won't get to be the incredible grandfather I know he would have been. This is a grief I'll mourn forever, my dad had so much life in him, and he only seemed to shine brighter the closer he came to death, so it's truly a loss for Myles and all of his grandchildren. I pulled out some pictures of my dad and showed them to Myles. Next year there will be an ability to understand more, but Myles does get it that Grandpa is in heaven. He talked to my mom that night and said "I'm sorry that you're sad about Grandpa. He'll come back from heaven." Myles is such a sweet kid, a lot like Seth, and I pray that he will keep this sweetness intact through all of life's bruises and bumps.

This year, as I read through my dad's caring bridge book, the one thing that struck me was something that's never stood out to me before. He wrote, "I will, indeed, be still and be content." Of course he was referring to the Psalm that says "Be still and know that I am God." I think it's a good description of exactly what my dad did as he died. He gracefully transitioned from movement to stillness. And his stillness was a reverent, humble stillness filled with contentment and gratitude. I still think about this all the time, because that's how I want to live and also how I want to die.

In my new on call job at the hospital I have the opportunity to think a lot about death, since I support families who are facing the unexpected death of a loved one. The circumstances are always tragic, they never fail to take me by surprise, and they almost never fail to bring a family to their knees in grief. But I do believe that God's hand is at work, loving these families through me and through others; drawing near to them in their time of suffering, offering powerful insight to anyone who will listen about the brevity and sanctity of life.

Although I think about my dad a lot, and I grieve the loss of him in so many ways, the joy does eclipse the pain. I think of him and smile or laugh about a time when he did something ridiculous. I hear his voice, forever upbeat, forever hopeful. I remember him with a head full of hair, and the way he enjoyed life is a much larger part of my memory than the way he suffered near the end. I've learned more than I can every convey from my dad, and so at the end of the day, I am grateful.

Mylestones: I am enjoying edging closer to four with Myles. Tonight we had a beautiful night together; conflict was minimal and he was willing to try the kale I put in his spaghetti and even confessed "I like it mama!" after I told him how kale helps clean out his belly (digestive track) and keeps his bones strong so that when he falls on his Scoot, he won't break his bones. These days I try things that I think are a long shot, and they often work much to my surprise. This week, for the first time, Myles showed a particular interest in style...he has an old pair of cords that are like six inches too short, but they have this rectangle, leather label on the outside of them (think Lee jeans). He insisted on wearing them; which we let him do around the house. Then he wanted to wear them to school and became quite upset when we told him they were dirty (and six inches too short). The only thing I could think to do was to remove the leather label and sew it on another pair that fit him. He was happy as a clam after that...and when I asked if anyone at school noticed the "tag" (as he calls it), he said, "yes!" Too cool for school.

Things are well with the church. We had a joint service for World Communion Sunday the first Sunday in October, and for the first time we had over 100 people, along with a drumming group. The growth has not happened as quickly as we would like, but we are officially a community of many families who are invested in our church and I love what I do.

My sister in-law Megan (Greg's wife) had her first baby on Monday, Myles' first girl cousin. Molly is beautiful and home with Megan and Greg. We hear she's a great sleeper!

That's about it for now, since it's bath time. We are loving this beautiful October; the trees are outdoing themselves and it's a wonderful time of the year to live in the mountains. I hope it's as beautiful in your neck of the woods.