The Pungent Demise of a Briefcase

It was a Wednesday, and I was driving Seth to the airport to catch his flight to DC for the annual ASLA Conference (where he wines, dines, connects with old friends and, oh yeah, gets a few CEUs). Something stunk. I asked Seth to fish the essential oil out of the glove box and put it in the little clay star that hangs from our rear view mirror. Still, it stunk. "It stinks in here," I said to Seth, "are Myles' sandals back there or something?" (The poor kid, he's 3 and already bears the Hendler curse of stinky feet.) Seth looked. Nope. A few miles later I couldn't take it anymore. Could it really be my own shoes? I took one off, put it up to my nose and inhaled deeply. Not roses, but not the source of the stink. We arrived at the airport, and as Seth was gathering up his things, he said, "You know what stinks? It's my briefcase." He held his leather briefcase up to my nose and there was no mistaking it. Wow. "But there's nothing in it," he said, and pulled it open for me to see. Then he checked the outer pocket. Inside was a blackened banana that had clearly imploded about two weeks earlier. The whole pocket was crawling with live fruit flies and the stench was unreal. We got out the emergency wipes in the glove compartment and Seth spent a good five minutes wiping that thing out, eyes watering, fruit flies swarming. Even after being married to the man for six years, he never ceases to surprise me. Not unlike the time he had a tick hunkered down in his thigh for a full three days and kept insisting I not look at it because it was "just a scab." Never a dull moment.

While Seth was away (toting his stinky briefcase onto the plane, God have mercy on whoever sat next to him) and enjoying the big city, my mom came to help out with Myles and the house. She cooked, she cleaned, she painted, she babysat, she played, all with the patience of Job. When Myles threw a fit the exact moment that church began and I had to remove him from the sanctuary, she didn't bat an eye and cared for him the whole time, missing the entire service. Her endurance is something I can only hope to have when I'm her age...but I think I missed that gene.

She helped me shop for our service project on 9/11. My church gathered at the Veterans Restoration Quarters (and old hotel that now houses over 200 veterans transitioning into permanent housing) and created "Welcome Home" baskets full of all the household necessities one needs when moving into your own place for the first time (silverware, shower curtains, cleaning supplies, pillows, towels, etc.). We made over a dozen baskets, then sat in a circle to hear the stories of a few veterans willing to share. It was amazing. All those supplies will be distributed through the HUD-VASH program within the next 4-6 weeks as veterans transition into permanent housing. I also couldn't resist submitting an article to the local paper on the cost of war, since it was 9/11. Here's a link if you want to read it.

One of my oldest, dearest friends Erin had her sweet baby last week too...welcome to the world Ana Lucia! She's beautiful and perfect. Erin and I met in kindergarten, and I can only hope and pray that Myles will have such old solid friendships one day when he's grown.

Myles Says: When I used an angry voice with him the other day, he replied, "God and Jesus would not like what you're saying to me." Does he know what works with his mama or what?

PSA: Last day to register to vote in NC is October 8th. Get out there and register if you've moved or if you're not registered already. Voting is a privilege that others fought hard for, there's no excuse not to vote!

Summer Travels Chapter 2: Ma-Jersey & NYC

It's Sunday afternoon. Myles is napping, Seth is running, and I'm procrastinating. My floors are dirty but I'd rather be blogging. My method of floor cleaning involves getting down on my knees and scrubbing in a way that is sort of like an intensive yoga workout for my upper body, so I try to look at it as multi-tasking. My mom arrives on Wednesday for a long weekend stay (Seth will be in DC for work), and she is one of my best motivators for floor cleaning. Now that I'm motivated, I just need to procrastinate a little longer until the sense of urgency can no longer be denied. Almost there.

In the mean time, I thought I'd update our friendly fans on our second family trip this summer. Seth's oldest brother Greg is about to become a dad for the first time and they are having a GIRL! (What's that?) This will be Myles' first girl cousin ever. Seth's folks threw a wonderful baby shower for them on their never-ending back deck, and so we decided to make the trip. Myles is still learning what states are, and the concept of being in a state was somewhat confusing to him. He saw "Ma-Jersey" (as he coined it) as a destination, a specific place that, once we've stopped the car, we're there. Imagine how anti-climatic it was after inching through Baltimore during rush hour to finally arrive in New Jersey...and still have an hour left to go in the car. We had arrived, sort of. Megan's shower was one of those rare opportunities to see Seth's small extended family (i.e. his aunt and uncle), long-time friends of the Hendler family, and old friends from growing up. We all enjoyed ourselves, but Myles had a blast! Hours of play with Uncle Jon, a trip to the water park with Nana, Seth, and Uncle Jon, playtime in the nearby park, plenty of sweet things to eat, new toys from Nana and Grandpa, and even some videos rented for him by Nana all made his trip.

On Sunday, we headed into New York City by way of car, train, and subway to see my college friends Janee and Sara, who both live in Brooklyn. We met up at a playground in Union Square so Myles could play with Amari, the foster son of Janee and her partner Tobi. Amari is just a few months older than Myles and pretty phenomenal on a scooter. The playground had a little water feature and so in typical Ashevillean style, Myles stripped down to his spiderman underpants and enjoyed the water. Later, we had Whole Foods on the steps near the subway station, and just enjoyed some good conversation with old friends. It's amazing that it's been over a decade since I graduated from college, but it's so easy to pick up where I left off with Janee and Sara. Janee is an amazing mom, and Sara is working on a documentary about her family's dairy farm in Michigan. I am so grateful to have smart, strong, interesting women-friends in my life.

On the train to NYC Myles had a huge melt down. We had forgotten to bring his drink, and he was thirsty. The whole train was well-informed on this matter, and we were very grateful when we were able to get off. The other passengers, no doubt, were even more grateful. We're catalysts for gratitude, I guess. However, he fully enjoyed the subway ride, and fell sound asleep on the train ride back to NJ, and said that the train was one of his favorite things about the whole trip. Seth's folks are doing well, and it is always a treat to see them, especially for Myles.

The trip there and back were both reminders of why we rarely get to NJ. Both took us far longer than the 11 hours we had hoped to make it in. The first leg included being in stop and go traffic for 2 hours, and the second leg included aggressive truck traffic as well as a mountain rain and thunderstorm that had us thanking God when we finally arrived safely home.

Mylestones: Last week, Myles went back to preschool for the fall. This year, for the first time, he goes five mornings/week from 9am - 1pm, and I had a huge (unexpected) lump in my throat when I dropped him off. I guess I just hope and pray that his teacher sees the beauty and open-heartedness in him that I see; that she nurtures and cultivates the person he already is; that he likes her and she likes him. It's hard to let go and remember the blessing of a skinned knee. Our kids have to explore, experiment, risk, and sometimes fall short to learn. And it's really hard to step back and let them do that. When I found out he's not in the same class with his best-good friend Rye, part of me wanted to march into the director's office and request a change. But I know that sometimes we learn a lot by being stretched and even uncomfortable. He has a new friend Joey in his class who is adopted from Ethiopia, and his friend Sagan's parents are in Ethiopia right now adopting Sagan's little brother Tegre, so I know that Myles will learn a lot about adoption and far away places like Ethiopia this year. I'm so glad.

Myles Says: Dressing Myles in the mornings has become more difficult, because he assigns particular tasks to particular shirts and will often say, "No! That shirt is for when I work with tools/play soccer/mow the lawn." It's hard to be creative in the morning, but I've finally discovered that a little bit of eeny-meany miney mo can get the process started. Today we visited the Lexington Avenue Art Festival (LAAF) just a mile from our house. It's the freakiest festival in Asheville, and some come in full-on costumes. Myles got to play a round of mini-gulf (not freaky, I know), decided against getting his face painted, watched a balloonist create a snake for him, and listened to lots of good music. The most impressive thing he saw was bike jousting. Yes, bike jousting. It's a new form of entertainment for LAAF, after a few years of the tall bike biting the dust short of making some kind of new record. (The tall bike was incredibly tall and somewhat scary to behold). Bike jousting includes two guys outfitted in foamy gear and helmets like football players. They ride banana-seat bikes that have horse heads duct-taped onto the front and faux fur on the seats. The hold long sticks (bamboo?) with a boxing glove on the end. Each receives a running push from someone in costume, and they ride toward each other, each trying to joust the other off their bike. After Myles saw this a few times, he had about a half hour of questions about it. Why are they dressed like that? Why do they have sticks? Can boys do that? At the end of the Q and A, Seth asked Myles if he would like to be a bike jouster when he grows up. There was a pause, and then a definitive, "Yes I would. And you could be the guy who talks into the thing." (The announcer.) We've got high expectations in this family.

Enjoy your long labor day weekend. Be mindful of those who labor in fields and on farms, in classrooms and factories, in shops and restaurants and hospitals...and also of those who wish they had a job and can't find one. It's tough out there. I'm thankful for meaningful work. Speaking of which, gotta get to those floors...