Wednesday, November 12, 2008

The Grieving Person's Bill of Rights


1. You have the right to experience your own unique grief.
2. You have the right to talk about your grief.
3. You have the right to feel a multitude of emotions.
4. You have the right to be tolerant of your physical and emotional limits.
5. You have the right to experience "grief attacks."
6. You have the right to make use of ritual.
7. You have the right to embrace your spirituality.
8. You have the right to search for meaning.
9. You have the right to treasure your memories.
10. You have the right to move toward your grief and heal.
11. You have the right to self medicate with dark chocolate. (Okay, I added this last one)

Can you tell I went to therapy this week? I tell you what, as a pastor I learned that there are a great many people in our lives who are grieving something precious. It's not always the loss of a loved one, though it can be. As human beings, there's a lot of loss and grief in our lives. Change is constant, and even celebratory change means we have to let go of something old that we may have treasured and loved. So to any of you who might be grieving anything, read through this bill of rights and remember that you have the right to make space in your life to do these things.

Today, I am thinking more about my dad because Myles has been sick with a stomach bug all day, relentlessly, and I have been playing the role of the worried-try-to-remain-calm care giver. I remember how we cared for my dad in his final weeks, and I think about the many occasions in which he cared for me when I was little and sick like Myles.

Our plan was to hit the road for Richmond tomorrow, but that's looking less likely tonight. We'll see what tomorrow brings. Say a prayer for Myles!

3 Comments:

Blogger p-fitz said...

Good for you for going to therapy Voss (and for feeling comfortable enough to share that with us). I really like this post.

6:36 AM  
Blogger tongue-tied said...

I love the Bill of Rights. I'm going to keep that on hand to remind myself of that - and to pass onto others in need.

2:12 PM  
Blogger Karson said...

What a great post, Mandy! I am humbled at your openness to share some of your grief with so many of us. And thank you for the Bill of Rights - just what I needed as I go through a grief of my own - the loss and changes of parts of my body from cancer. Not at all the kind of grief you are going through, but grief nonetheless. You continue to inspire me, friend!

4:28 PM  

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